this one really pisses me off, when im sitting on the throne in a public place, and i hear someone pissing, and then he flushes it halfway through the piss. i get up and out of the stall and theres half-diluted urine two feet away from me. fucking a, are we that pressed for time people, do we need to conserve every single half-second we can so we can spend those forty-seven seconds we accrued during the day masturbating before we go to bed, is that it, huh, i would actually feel better if he just flushed it before he even began going. why fucking bother when youre that far into it, in fact, just dont even flush it. just leave. believe me, its to your advantage. the more time you have to get out of my line of sight, the better, honestly dick head.

oh no, thats nothing compared to this one.so why do people insist on saying "excuse me" after they start plowing through your fucking chest plate, they make me want to rip their voice boxes out, try it now you fucking douche bag, say it, excuse me, cmon cat got your tongue, earl got your tongue, no no my newly aquainted shoulder bumping buddy, i have your voice box. asshole.

theres another one, oh yes there is more, people who imply something when they speak, and right when you think theyre going to finish on an intelligent plane, they fucking say it. example, "he had been drinking, and we all know how he gets after that...pause, he gets really friggin pissed." i knew that, i hang out with him when he drinks, i knew that before you started talking, thank you for the enlightenment, aah, so pissed off, need to calm down.

mmm...breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out...

i need to do that after I lose my keys and some captain obvious prick goes "well where was the last place you had em", thanks dick, if i knew that id go back and get them from that place, i hope you lose all your shit, so i can ask you where you lost it at, now go find my fucking keys smartass.

people who talk really loud in a library. or bump the fucking gums on a cell phone in a theater. people who have hard-ons for their jobs. white dudes who wear their baseball caps tilted to one side, hey buddy your hats falling off your head, you should fix that before the wind takes it right off your dome chief. wiggers, enouph said. soft rock. thats an oxymoron if i ever heard one. people who dont cover their mouths when they sneeze and emit a visible mist against the pale moonlight, you know, germ junkies. and thats what really grinds my fucking gears, thank you ill be signing autographs at your mothers house, fucking toolbox.